Your Questions About Dating Tips For Woman

Lizzie asks…

What are some good tips on how to impress a woman on a first date?

I’m going on a date with this woman tonight, this is the first date I’ve been on with her and I’m fairly experienced in dating, but I have no idea of what would be a turn-on or would what be a turn-off for this woman, so can you give me some general tips on how to impress a lady on a first date? All would be appreciated

answers:

Just be yourself. Be confident and treat her well. Play romantic music in the car, have a nice meal, watch a movie.

Listen when she speaks (at least try to). Act like you are interested. Speak about the present, and possibly the future. Do not dwell on the past. Past is past, forget it.

Above all, make sure she is comfortable with you.

Sandy asks…

What are the best dating tips for a 42 year old devoreced women?

answers:

What boring answers.

Speaking as a 42 y/o single woman who’s dating again, there’s nothing wrong with admitting your age. It’s a huge turn on to most men.

Stay away from bars and be choosey on who you date. Nothing’s worse than a BAD date after a long week.

Dress to please yourself. Nice deep V-necked tops with skirts are awesome. We finally have breasts that we can be proud of…and that men appreciate.

Be honest with him about the food you like and the places that you enjoy…but also be open to a new idea if he suggests it.

Order soup and an appetizer, then go for a salad or something light for your entree…gives you more time to have a good conversation with him and less to worry about finishing.

Leave all thoughts of previous men at home. No man wants to spend the night listening to how wretched somebody else was…and it just gives the impression that you’ve got too much baggage and can’t move forward.

Make sure your kids know that your phone is only to be used for dire emergencies. I hate having a date sit there and watch me tell the kids to stop fighting and go to bed.

Most of all, have fun and feel good about yourself. Life is so much better after 40 than they tell us!!!

John asks…

What are some conversation/dating tips to getting a Girlfriend?

When it comes to walking up and talking to a woman or asking for her number I have no problem. When it comes to carrying on a conversation I need help there. Also I can at times seem desperate, How do I avoid this?

answers:

What I would do is smile alot, pretend to be interested and at the same time not interested. Girls don’t like guys who are obsessive. They want a guy to chill out as much as they do. Depending on the girl is also a factor of your result. Don’t go for girls who blatantly embaress or ignore you coz they are not worth the effort. That does’nt mean go chat to every girl you see. Look for signs from a girl who is looking at you. Try look at her without her noticing to find that out ;)

Sooner or later it will happen. What you don’t chase will come your way eventually :)

Susan asks…

How much do you agree/disagree with the following dating tips?

-Women should not give their number to men. If a guy doesn’t ask for your number, he’s probably not interested.

-A woman should not confess to a guy that she has a crush on him. The most she should do is find ways of making him notice her.

answers:

1. A little confusing, but you shouldn’t just give out your number willie nillie, but if you find a guy who you think you can trust, then why not?

2. I totally disagree. A woman should tell a guy she likes them.

James asks…

Especially ppl who are in strong marriages or ltrs: any advice or tips for a woman ending a dating break?

I am a youngish 40 something who is successful in every area of her life (work, the arts, friendship), except romantic love. I took ab. a three month break away fr. dating after a weird, heartbreaking string of bad dating experiences or short-lived encounters with a guy with serious control issues, a guy who turned out to be basically a player (or as they say in Trinidad, a sweetman), and a guy who only wanted to relate to me on the telephone.

Lately, I have been attracting guys who don’t fit these profiles–thank God. Having done a lot of soul searching and healing, I am ready to start dating. These guys must sense it, so now I am starting to be asked out. This is not a coincidence.

I just don’t want to make the wrong choices again. I have had good relationships in the past, so I don’t know how things got so badly off track. Sometimes I think it is bec. I live in NYC, but I think this stuff happens everywhere. How do you avoid the controllers, players, and unavailables?

answers:

In general, I believe that we tend to attract others based on the type of energy we put out, and where we go looking for prospective partners.

It sounds to me like you are already on to one very valuable lesson about finding a good partner, and need only a simple reframe to reshape your negative experience into this little gem of a positive:

Don’t spend much energy trying to work out if he is the right guy to date. Spend the energy while you date him and ask yourself if he is acting right. Be prepared to drop him fast if he gives you any cause for concern. It’s much easier to do this if you have little or no emotional commitment to the idea “he’s the right guy” ahead of dating him.

Yes there are controllers and players, and it is no surprise you keep coming across them because they are generally single and doing their best to latch on to their next unsuspecting partner. That is why you keep meeting them! You can’t avoid that reality but can tell them where to get off.

With that bit of general advice out of the way here are some great specifics.

Look at what needs and factors need to be met through a relationship

1) Spiritual
2) Emotional
3) Communicative
4) Financial and Material
5) Ideological
6) Attitudes to having/wanting children
7) Physical attraction
8) What do you need to be able to trust.

And others you can define for yourself.

When you date someone, ask yourself how they measure up. Any deal breakers? Does it look like its all good? It helps bring back some objectivity to the “pink fluffy stupid” stage where you think you have so much in common because you both happen to vote democrat and enjoy toast.

Lastly (almost lastly), for most of us, a long term relationship happens after several short term ones, which isn’t a bad thing, just think of them as practical learning experiences, and kiss those ex’s forward and wish them luck in their own quests. Sooner or later a one weeker becomes a one monther, and slides into a year.

You can’t know ahead of time if that is what will happen, but you can tell in real time if your needs are being met and that is a better way to have good relationships than worrying about how long they will last.

The (real) last thing I’d say to you is to try meeting people through activities for which you have a passion, or suggests dates that involve something you have a passion for. You won’t find many “playas” putting in 2 hours in a soup kitchen, at least not on the serving side of the bench. You won’t find too many chauvinists at a womens rights meeting. Do things you enjoy for their own sake, and because theres a chance of meeting a guy on your wavelength. You have everything to gain from the activity and the possibility.

There are no mistakes, only choices (which are mostly limited only by our awareness of them) and how you deal with “what happens next”. Don’t be afraid of new prospects, don’t be afraid of ending short term relationships that don’t work. Sooner or later you will find one that endures for the right reasons.

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